pandemic chai tea

Ingredients:

• 1/2 can of coconut milk
• 2 chunks of fresh ginger root larger than your thumb
• 1 chunk of tumeric roof at least the size of your pinky
• 4 black tea bags
• 1.5 tsp allspice
• 1 tbsp, 1 tsp good quality cinnamon
• 1/8 tsp cayenne pepper
• 1/8 tsp black pepper
• 8 cardamom pods
• 2 tbsp brown sugar

Process:

1. Put 1 liter of water in whatever type of pot or pan that suits your mood. Maybe that shiny silver one hasn’t been out in a bit? Set it on a high flame.
2. Examine the digits of the ginger roots and select a piece that has a volume that is at least equivalent to that of your two thumbs. Select a piece of tumeric root that is also at least the size of your pinky. You do not need to remove the skin from the either, but if the only other option is to look at macabre statistics or read government declarations that you think you don’t understand because you are not a native speaker but that you will later find out that no one understands or become overwhelmed as you read first hand accounts of oxygen tank shortages in the jungle and/or in Lima, then it is recommended that you methodically remove the skin from both in a time consuming fashion.

3. Slice the ginger and tumeric into large, thin slices. This will allow the water to easily draw out the flavor and will ensure that you can easily discard them when drinking the tea. Throw them into the pot once finished.

4. While you wait for the pot to reach a roaring boil. After months of being trapped in your apartment alone by yourself, you have come to see that you alone have control over how you are going to spend your time and consequently how this day is going to go.

5. Take the dull knife that you keep vowing to replace or sharpen, and use the blade to cut or crush the cardmom pods one by one. The seeds inside should be sliced or cracked.

6. Add allspice, cinnamon, cayenne, black pepper and cardamom pods into the pot. Stir them in and then use your hand to waft the steam towards you face and breathe deep.

7. Go and practice juggling for a bit. After 20 minutes, turn off burner.
8. Add black tea bags. Dangle and agitate them in the pot for 2 minutes before taking them out.
9. Add in sugar. Stir to make sure that all of it dissolves. Add more to taste.
10. Pour in the coconut milk. It is going to seperate and look gross, but it tastes better and you don’t have to think about cows when you drink it.
11. Stir the pot and pour yourself a cup of tea.
12. Stay away from all electronic devices.
13. Sit down somewhere comfortable, preferrably near a window.
14. Sip the tea and be wherever you are.